How do I know if I consented? The perspective of feminist women

Abstract

This study aims to investigate the subjective experience of consent and understand how women answer the question: "did I consent?". The goal is to understand what are the physical and psychological clues that help women know that they consented to a sexual encounter. To investigate this question, we interviewed Brazilian cisgender women over the age of 25 who identify as feminists and have sexual experiences with men. The choice to look at the experiences of feminists comes from the fact that this group has closely followed the rise of the discussion around sexual consent and often reviewed their evaluations of their past sexual experiences in light of these conversations. The stories told by these women showed that are two main emotional clues used to decide if they consented. The first one is based on the presence of positive feelings, such as mutuality, reciprocity, a safe space for verbal and non-verbal communication. The second one, was by the absence of certain negative feelings, namely fear, coercion and the feeling of not having a choice. However, even in cases where the question of consent wasn't clear, there was a marked feeling of guilt and the feeling of being responsible for the situations where they felt violated. Finally, looking at the elements that contributed to the construction of their idea of consent, there was a highlight to the role of feminism and female friendships. These results were observed through a reflexive thematic analysis developed on the content of semi structured interviews.